Begin with the wishes you want to share.
Funeral planning often starts with a conversation with a family member or close friend. Sharing your wishes gives your loved ones clear guidance when they need to make funeral arrangements, and eases the emotional burden of guessing. Write down your final wishes, including anything you've already arranged, and let someone you trust know where to find them. Your preferences may change, so review your plan after changes in your family, health or home.
Choose a service that reflects your life.
Some people want a traditional service at a church or chapel; others prefer a small memorial gathering. Decide whether you'd like a viewing or visitation, a funeral service, a memorial service after cremation or a graveside service, and where you'd like it held. Note the personal details that matter: the clothing or jewelry you'd like to wear, favorite flowers and floral arrangements, music, readings, photographs and keepsakes. If personal belongings should be returned to someone afterwards, say so in your instructions.
Consider who you'd like to take part.
Name an officiant, musicians, pallbearers and the people you'd like to give a eulogy, read scripture or share a memory. Where you can, talk with them in advance, and name an alternate in case someone is unable to take part.
Record your burial or cremation preferences.
For burial, note your preferred cemetery, any plot or mausoleum space you already own, a marker style and the inscription you'd like. For cremation, note your preferred urn, who you'd like to keep it, or where and by whom you'd like your ashes scattered. In Oklahoma, cremation requires signed authorization from the person legally entitled to give it, often the next of kin, and a permit from the medical examiner, so your family will still sign the final paperwork.
Gather personal information and documents.
Keep your personal information, affiliations and military service details in one secure place, separate from anything meant for a public obituary, and tell a trusted person how to reach it. When a death occurs, the funeral director gathers this information and files the death record with the Oklahoma State Department of Health; families often need several certified copies for insurance, accounts and the estate.
Talk about transportation and costs.
Planning ahead gives you time to ask questions about cost. Under the FTC Funeral Rule, any funeral home must give you a General Price List to keep when you discuss arrangements in person. Ask for an itemized estimate, note any existing cemetery purchases such as a burial plot, and record where your insurance policies are kept. Direct cremation with us starts at $695, and if you choose to prepay, we deposit all prepayments into a trust fund until needed.